As ur wish

i wish i didn't care
i wish it didn't matter
i wish i was happy
i wish i had money
i wish i was pretty
i wish i could sleep at night
i wish i could enjoyed my life
i wish i could just enjoyed my food
i wish u meant it
i wish i meant it
i wish i was different
i wish i know what i'm writing rite now..

Flummox

May,18th 2010

1st thing in the morning, i woke up early, prepare 4 my sis punye bekpes.( goreng nasik jer la)

since yesterday we've planned 2 meet today, i went to kb and meet them there.
OMG!it's been 5 years since last time i saw their face..heheh
*we=me,zaza,& shida.

1.shida got taller than me,still cute and skinny a bit.hurm . yeah.. a girl like her? she's no chick who wathes her weight.hahaha..

2.zaza now seems like gaining weight little bit(it was a victory for her i think since she's always complaining 2 me saying she's so skinny like a walking skeleton and a runaway model) hihi

*applause!(great job dear)

brunch at  pizza hut+secret recipe..
*thinking...are u guys doin' dis too??huh?? (;

after that, 3 of us got 3 proper plan:

1. window shopping

2. tingkap shopping

3. door shopping!

that's all we can do since we dont have money.
me=dont have the scholarship money yet .
zaza=her dad wont give her the allowance 4 this month since she took away her sis's laptop for for her bf... (bangang!)
shida=always run out of money!

*pats my back..its okay!haha

hmmmm...

ah shit! my phone fell down the floor 3times today.
i'm sure now it's going to be crappier and crappier by minutes.
yeah right..

we sat in the middle of the shopping mall
thats because we tired+exhausted+jealous of ppl having a double triple paperbags on their hand.(-o-)"

we were talking and talking, haha ,
and i jst have to record this before it slips out to oblivion

zaza: so how r u now?

me: i'm just fine. damn bored being alone at home

shida : heh..nasib la

me : hehe.yeah..but i love doing all those stuff.
very hectic week i got last week.i pactically died the day after that..

zaza : whatv a crap,dont b sooo lame.haha..

shida : hey, did u hear about h?

me: nope.not at all, seems like he fall into another side of the world. i dont even saw him after school. why?u met him?

shida : u just dont get it fiqa.

me: get what?

shida: r u blind or what?

me: huh? can u just tell me what did i didnt got so i can get it NOW.

shida: *explains

me: *pause for a seconds..
i see. why i dont even notice it?hurmm...where the hell is he doin' rite now? studying or what?

shida: yeah..he managed to go australia after intec s.alam.

me: errrr..okay. i was such a blinfolded. how is it goin after p.school?

shida: he got offer 2 mrsm.

*zaza smirking

*so,technically i dont expecting dis thing is goin to spoil my mood 2day.. ._.//

head over home after that.

let me tell you what i think is important in life - uh

wait

tiramisu cakes , laptop , handphone , wifi , pringles , friends and pizza

hihihi!

okay, NO. it's attitude

clothes , looks , grades , talents , sport abilities , contacts and networks , cool family , nice house , riches , cool friends and a romantic love life ..

it makes up but its not the important thing ;)

its very very shallow if you think that’s the main point of perfection

perfection , like beauty , really comes from within ;D

Chip and Cookies

1. today is THURSDAY!erm,evryone knows that(whether they noticed or not) ;)

2. I should be: kemas umah(since i'm now a full time h/wife a.k.a anak soleh)

3. The last text message i received was from: lizzie

4. And it said: jom g pasar malam.

5. I replied: sori,can't la. ade keje la.

6. I am currently pissed off because:my sem break is only 3 weeks!blurhgg!

7. My cellphone rings and the song playing is:Nokia default tone? err...hehe

8. Would love to see: last song(miley starred)

9. Let say i could change my attitude, it would be: that i'd be less egoistic . hmm

10. I really, absolutely love cheese cake.

11.I like yesterday because: ilove yesterday.=p

12. My fav song rite now would be: Jason Derulo-Blind

13. Sometimes I forget to: urmmm,replying messages. sorry!

14. When I’m in a bad mood, it’s better to just: keep quiet and think and read .

15. I really can’t stand: um . rude people . and maggots xO

16.  I’d break up with my boyfriend right away if: i saw him cheating on me !

17. If I were to get stuck in an elevator with someone, it would have to be: wan, or amie . i miss you guys sniff . or hana and ili just for another moment with the three of us :’) + yat ! or ultimately , jiwa kusut k.long . and zai . hey and ziey too .

18.  If I win the lottery, the first thing I would buy is: a house . ngee!

19. One bad habit of mine is: ahaha . i bite my nails , i sleeptalking and i love midnite snack . that’s three , sorry .

20. i would like to meet: wan suriati . to clear things up and explain myself . blueh . im such a chicken i cant even try to muster up the energy to msg you . my bad . so sorry..

Buddies

date:12 may 2010
venue:bedroom
listening to : boys like girls-two is better than one
mood: totally mixed up..sad,confused,guilty.('_.)"

i would tell you what i feel rite now,being honest and face you infront so i could say sorry,explain everything,and blurt it all in just a glimpse of words..
it sounds and it will sound so emo , and i hate it . wan, you somehow bring out the worst and the best part of me.. (;
i realised sumhow people go through their midlife crisis now :/ things change , pressure , life .
everything.

all those crap and crisis were just a flow like water in our life..
life must go on and what makes we stuck to each other is not exactly what we feel everytime we're on the middle of trouble or sumthing.

but, trust me..
everytime all the problem goes away, that stuff is not a problem anymore..
what matters now?
friendship matters and rule everything more than we knew and realised..(:

friend are forever, trouble is not just a friend, it was our life, how we reflect our life day by days..

*i'm really miss my h/mates now

whatever obstacles, problems, crisis, any rumours cascade, i will always love u guys..

sorry for whatever i did wrong..

till we meet again.

...................

Ending

the end.

Uitm is done...
erk?actually...not done yet,
there's 1year left...

*sigh

after 3years of studies and love and laugh i didnt think i regret a second of it and i've already prepared my leave and is all good.

about 3 weeks of freedom brings a lot of prospects and its what you make of the time you have right?

why do i feel like theres a brick wall coming on the 1st of june? instead of a door?

and im so unsatisfied because ive tried so hard last year. A for effort, no? and and it’s double the turmoil because deep down inside i don’t know what im doing. im not sure of my goals as of yet and maybe it’s time i realise that the no-plan plan isnt really going to work now that lectures and all its enchalada is done with?

im trying to hold up my end here and im probably wigging out over nothing but its like balancing on a thread, not knowing whether its good to fall or not?

we’ll see.

the beginning.