How to let go of suffering

Many of us from all walks of life and at every level of society have become addicted to suffering. Our addiction reaches such an extent that even when everything seems to be going perfectly; we find a reason to feel bad. A classic example is during those times when everything is going far too well, it feels too good to be true, and we look for ways to question, doubt and even complain about our good fortune! The good news is we can free ourselves.

1. Rising above

For some of us there may be a certain comfort in suffering, in being a victim, because we don’t have to take responsibility; it’s much easier to blame someone else for our own discontent. Some of us get lost in the suffering we have been through in the past, unable to embrace things anew or see them through fresh eyes. We then miss out on experiencing the beauty of the present moment. We need to restore our innocence and focus on the love within us and in the world. This requires rising beyond he discontent of the intellect, and embrace freedom and joy in every moment.

 

2. Living in the moment

Living in the moment helps us rise above the judgments and complaints of the intellect to embrace the world around us with innocent, joyful acceptance.  When we experience love-consciousness, we realize that everything is perfect exactly as it is. This does not mean we shouldn’t want to improve our situations and grow. Evolution is the nature of life, and everything is always moving forward; but if we choose to embrace the beauty of what is happening right now, instead of focusing on what we perceive as wrong, love grows, instead of fear

3. Taking responsibility

In order to find true freedom from suffering, we need to begin to find happiness within. As adults, we may resist taking responsibility for our dissatisfaction. It’s easier to blame the politicians, our parents, religion, pollution, our bosses, and so on. We can change our external circumstances ad infinitum, but in reality that will never change anything. The outside is just a mirror of our own discontent. Fulfillment, peace, joy, and love do not come from outside. 

4. Speaking the truth

In modern society, we have learned to lie all the time. We lie to please others,  to defend ourselves, and to hide the parts of ourselves we have learned to judge as wrong or inappropriate. We think, It’s just a little lie, but there are hundreds of them! Whenever we lie, we are abandoning ourselves; we are not loving ourselves. Whenever we modify ourselves in order to receive love, we are separated from self. In speaking our truth, on the other hand, we never compromise ourselves in the search of approval from the outside.

 

5. Free yourself now

We can find freedom from our addiction to suffering when we choose, instead, to focus on love.

Imagine when you look in the mirror

that the face looking back at you is someone you truly love.

Just imagine. . . 

Life as we know it

Here how it goes,
no matter how much i try to forget, u're still coming into my dreams and it turns out into a nightmare
and i hate it

what can i say

if youre it, youre it

i try time and again to see you in a different light..

with eyes untainted by social perception..

unheard of gossip and hate-speech..

but damn!!

you just had to go get in my face again..

cant you just leave quietly.. tail between legs..

i mean, seriously..

you ass has been handed to you the last time..

and you still have the nerve to show that snotty nose of yours..

claiming to still be on top when it is soo clear that you cant take the view..

please..

just please..

at the end of it

dont pretend like its your decision to leave

because we all know that its u who cant afford to stay..

You're hired!

 

Having module all day long today

plus the mock interview (google it guys) ;)

i got the OSK investment bank co as my interviewer n dont have any idea how did i gotten into this co (i did know abt the co but what actually they did? i know NOTHING)

heee~

okay,here it goes:

interviewer A (a guy),we call him oren

interviewer B (a lady), lets call her lemon ..;)

and dont forget me (i'm the main character her..lol)-gonna slash u to death if u forgot abt me.

me: asslamualaikum....here's my resume...*came into the room and put the CV on the table

both of them smiled n nodded

oren: have a seat

lemon: alright fiqa,tell us a little bit abt urself.

me: my name is ..bla..bla...bla...n i'm the eldest sister in family.

oren checking my resume

oren   : i saw u've done ur practikal training at petronas,do u a petronas scholar?

me      :nope..but i'm a pnb scholar...*ah shit!ape kau ckp ni fiqa.aigoo!hope they didnt even notice it

lemon  : owh,so you're a pnb scholar? meaning that u're bonded with them right?

me      : actually it is not exactly bonded bcause in the agreement it stated that the scholarship offered doesnt guaranteed me a job later.*pandai kau tempeleng..hehe

lemon  : ohh i see..let say if pnb offer you a job and we're too offering u the same.what co will u choose?

me      : definitely i will choose pnb.(it just came out from my mouth,haish!)

*both oren and lemon seems shock

lemon  : so you are saying that u will chose pnb instead of us?seems that u're not interested in this company. we're just an options. aren't u?

*big dush!

me     : thats not what i meant. i am interested in this company. it is just a nice way giving my priority to my scholarship company.(i dont think i should said like this)

lemon :alright,done with that.tell us what do u think abt foreign workers in our country.

me     : in my opinion,foreign workers issue doesnt give any benefit to our country.we're paying them n they're tranfering the money for their family. it would be such a waste. *ok,i'm stuck now.haish!

oren   : what do you know about futures derivative.

*i got stuck,blank,clueless..in fact i know the answer. 

me    :my apology , i cannot answer the question yet but i'll try to explain on that if i got hired.

oren  : it's okay.now what do u think of the current economy.

me    :correct me if i'm wrong but now ringgit is tightening because of the drops in US dollar. and it affected by the rose of oil prices. and it is a good situation for malaysia i think.

lemon :explain about the IPO,wht do u know about it.

me     : IPO is offered by bla...bla..bla...*i wish this wasnt a crap.hee!

oren   : given a condition of bull market and bear market.what do u understand about those things?

*banyak la pulak kau tanye,nasib baik hensem

me     :bull market is where the transaction of shares and the flow of money in the market is heavily transacted.and bear market is a condition where...bla3....done...

lemon  : what is the relevant of having invested and giving out of dividend.is it good or not?

me      : *explains..at a point of time,i got stuck...apology again..(ape je kau tau fiqa,adeh)

okay,the session reached the end.but....

me   : sorry may i ask one question?

*both of them said yes and nodded.

me   : are both of u came from recruitment team of osk or what? (berani nye kau fiqa tnye diorg,hehe)

oren  : *laughing

eh aku xsuruh gelak pun?? 

oren   :actually, we're not from osk,we're the alumni of uitm working at .............we come just t help u guys on how to face the interview session. And you're good enough even there are times u cannot deliver what u want to say correctly.(did he just compliment me???) ;D

me     : owh okay...(hampeh betul, i was thinking they're from osk*big sigh )

the end of session.

come out of the room,relieved.

but hey, life is short..whatever you do,always be cheerful n everybody will get into you just easily.

love,

fiqa

Hocus Pocus!

Used to be like this*teeheee!

Its 24th of february now and the time for mingle-ling is so over!considering that the fact i'm a part 8 student*hellyeah? so what?
a bit serious fiqa? okayh, i'm serious now..no more mingle-ness and fiddling around. ;D

when i look at all of my friends studying like, burning the midnight oil n staying up late for study.oh my effing God,plz help me...find me mood to study plisss!!
*for mom's sake ye fiqa?(i'm nodding now)hehe

alrites, get back to your study.

; hope i wont fall asleep on my books again *big grin 

Flaws

listening to: impossible-Shontelle.(pretty enough to describe the stupid feeling right now)

mood : dont know ('.')??

wearing : borrowed t-shirt from yat(thanks yat!)

i dont have any issues rite now, thank god!

except a tiny niggling of unsatisfaction =/

sheeeshh! i hate it when people flaunt out their high and might-i-ness on me

get a grip

my life is cooler then your,so xpyh kecoh la..

actually, i have this big issue of flaunting around authority

HAHA . i can practically see my bffs rolling around on the floor :/

but technically , i do have my moments of self doubt
*what a crap

but mummy taught me to just bulldoze my way into greatness , and whatever i strive for , work for , i'll get it 

so its a matter of mindset

i’d go really really deep into what im feeling right now

but honestly nothing is stirring in the deep depths of the archives of my very own personal teen angst .

im happy as i am right now (;

i'm done,goodnite!

Kitten

Saturday,June 19th 2010

ehem, dear diary,
i's such a cool v bright and sunny day today !

am i such a dork to say i love SATURDAYS!??

im at mira’s house . today supposedly and unexpectedly, we've planned to go for a coffin exhibition at the museum.
konon brani..hahaha,....

but as it turns out , life doesnt go as its supposed to smtimes -_-”"

ever felt emotionally and physically drained ? ._.’

today,we went for a kind of cuci mata around kl.
we=mama,mira,abah and me.(;

actually, mama and i planned to go to post office,since i got something to setTle on but plan was altered cause abah want to have breakfast at kg baru.okay then.

went out about 9am and got back home around 12.30 and its was only a while cause we're going out again after zohor to ikea..

*smirking

went to ikea bcause mama got sumthing to buy for the bathroom and thanks god to mama cause i havent in ikea for almost 3years!
hahahah...but plans as i said dont turns out as it supposed to..... );
we bought nothing at the end..hurm,doesnt matter.
hey,i heard some of  my friend got addicted by ikea meatball..hahaha..okay,i'll try it later la..(xsmpat nk jenguk pun,too many ppl!)

on our way home, we got stuck on secret recipe having tea time there..
OMG! so nice and good to have pecan butterscotch this time..
plus lasagna,it was mama's order tough..(curi sikit) hhahaha

after we got home,me n mira going out again to a nearby shop.

u know what?i saw kittens there!
argh!soooo cute!
there r 3 kittens on a box below the stairs, n no ones there.
so i took 1 n 1 for mira.
fair n square isnt it?
technically,it's stealing bcause no one was there at that time..

*big dush!

but realistically,it's stealing too because we took them without permission.but,is there someone else there to ask for a permission???what  a crap...blablabla...
ngeee!

can you imagine a sun drenched , sunny day , hanging out and letting loose and at the same time getting something (hihi) done , and seeing everybody (half of em you knw of and greet) just out and about enjoying the day ?

my life is great , i think  and im beyond grateful .

and i just had to write this to share my happiness haha . ive been so down and semi lethargic lately but i guess it just boils down to what matters at the end of the day .

you really really have to let out whats making you feel wrong , bcause once thats done everything is okay . you did your part in telling someone and its up to the universe to make it right lol
either that , or i am waaaayyy high on mochachino
but hey - life is short .

love ,
fiqa..  xD

Satin

Listening to: Angel's cry-Neyo ft Mariah Carey
hair . twisted into a ponytail.
shimmer . rough .
In black chiffon shorts and a white tee .
wiping the worry away..

ooh.. it's been 3 weeks already..

ive been … busy gearing up over everything , konon . im nt even sure if that makes sense
it’s already THURSDAY
1 day left till weekend..
feel as if the weekend didnt happen at all , smhow . one big gush of grey blur

my brain went fuzzy checkin' on wht i'm going to do dis weekend.

*sigh

i think all dis time i'm doing my internship at petronas,i did quite well.(i guess)
hahaha...poyo!

u know what?the best thing for today was i eat at nando's!

it's kak fid's treat..my supervisor a.k.a my boss..

hhahah..

frankly speaking, at 1st, i did'nt wanna go join them for lunch since i thought i hve to pay for my own meal.

funny isnt it?

hmmm...now i knew that every month kak fid will bring her staff for a lunch together.that was great!

thats why i love nice ppl..

my top pet peeve in the whole world is rude people . i absolutely despise rude people . imbecilic morons . courtesy makes the person . gentlemen rules !

in a sense , it seems irresponsible and idiotic to “go with the flo” . but im not stupid . i act stupid ;D but i don’t think im stoopid . this may be just a case of Patrick & Spongebob’s influence . haha .

i was raised with manners . im sensible . i don’t do stupid things . like smoking . or taking drugs . i dnt do PDA . i pray ;D and fast . i’ve qhattamed . i still have fun but i know my limit . with good breeding comes manners .

song right now:Jason Castro- Lets just fall in love again.

okay, i'm done now.

goodnite!

Flummox

May,18th 2010

1st thing in the morning, i woke up early, prepare 4 my sis punye bekpes.( goreng nasik jer la)

since yesterday we've planned 2 meet today, i went to kb and meet them there.
OMG!it's been 5 years since last time i saw their face..heheh
*we=me,zaza,& shida.

1.shida got taller than me,still cute and skinny a bit.hurm . yeah.. a girl like her? she's no chick who wathes her weight.hahaha..

2.zaza now seems like gaining weight little bit(it was a victory for her i think since she's always complaining 2 me saying she's so skinny like a walking skeleton and a runaway model) hihi

*applause!(great job dear)

brunch at  pizza hut+secret recipe..
*thinking...are u guys doin' dis too??huh?? (;

after that, 3 of us got 3 proper plan:

1. window shopping

2. tingkap shopping

3. door shopping!

that's all we can do since we dont have money.
me=dont have the scholarship money yet .
zaza=her dad wont give her the allowance 4 this month since she took away her sis's laptop for for her bf... (bangang!)
shida=always run out of money!

*pats my back..its okay!haha

hmmmm...

ah shit! my phone fell down the floor 3times today.
i'm sure now it's going to be crappier and crappier by minutes.
yeah right..

we sat in the middle of the shopping mall
thats because we tired+exhausted+jealous of ppl having a double triple paperbags on their hand.(-o-)"

we were talking and talking, haha ,
and i jst have to record this before it slips out to oblivion

zaza: so how r u now?

me: i'm just fine. damn bored being alone at home

shida : heh..nasib la

me : hehe.yeah..but i love doing all those stuff.
very hectic week i got last week.i pactically died the day after that..

zaza : whatv a crap,dont b sooo lame.haha..

shida : hey, did u hear about h?

me: nope.not at all, seems like he fall into another side of the world. i dont even saw him after school. why?u met him?

shida : u just dont get it fiqa.

me: get what?

shida: r u blind or what?

me: huh? can u just tell me what did i didnt got so i can get it NOW.

shida: *explains

me: *pause for a seconds..
i see. why i dont even notice it?hurmm...where the hell is he doin' rite now? studying or what?

shida: yeah..he managed to go australia after intec s.alam.

me: errrr..okay. i was such a blinfolded. how is it goin after p.school?

shida: he got offer 2 mrsm.

*zaza smirking

*so,technically i dont expecting dis thing is goin to spoil my mood 2day.. ._.//

head over home after that.

let me tell you what i think is important in life - uh

wait

tiramisu cakes , laptop , handphone , wifi , pringles , friends and pizza

hihihi!

okay, NO. it's attitude

clothes , looks , grades , talents , sport abilities , contacts and networks , cool family , nice house , riches , cool friends and a romantic love life ..

it makes up but its not the important thing ;)

its very very shallow if you think that’s the main point of perfection

perfection , like beauty , really comes from within ;D

Ending

the end.

Uitm is done...
erk?actually...not done yet,
there's 1year left...

*sigh

after 3years of studies and love and laugh i didnt think i regret a second of it and i've already prepared my leave and is all good.

about 3 weeks of freedom brings a lot of prospects and its what you make of the time you have right?

why do i feel like theres a brick wall coming on the 1st of june? instead of a door?

and im so unsatisfied because ive tried so hard last year. A for effort, no? and and it’s double the turmoil because deep down inside i don’t know what im doing. im not sure of my goals as of yet and maybe it’s time i realise that the no-plan plan isnt really going to work now that lectures and all its enchalada is done with?

im trying to hold up my end here and im probably wigging out over nothing but its like balancing on a thread, not knowing whether its good to fall or not?

we’ll see.

the beginning.

Pursuit of happyness

im getting there =0

the trouble with aiming for a goal

is losing the things you love on the way

its time to pick back up the pieces

and make way for victory (;

its already beginning of april

and its the beginning of the end!

*ngeee...
*smirking (-;

...love..live....life....

Iris

15th february 2010

urmm....i woke up early 2day..solat, then prepare for a breakfast..
a triple + 1layer of sandwich je..
hurmm..but suddenly my mum asked my sis to go and find 1nasi bungkus for her..
haha...who's gonna eat all dis sandwiches? 3of us?
it was so *CWOT(complete waste of time)
if i knew this would happen, i'll just have a yakisoba for breakfast..
ok then..
after that all of us watching oprah show..kinda intresting..then my mum ajak pegi pasar tani..
wanna buy durian..hehe...
i got dressed up by 930 but got stuck by, mak nak tengok abhisek ngan aish kat dalam oprah dulu..
wut ever...i dont really like them though..ok then, we went to pasar on 10.30 am then..

Venue=pasar
*jalan3......
huh?murtabak kambing? haha...best jgk nie...
pakcik: nk bli ape?
me : murtabak kambing 1
pakcik:ok,siap...3ringgit.
me :trime kasih pakcik.

jalan again...
dush!hey you..
there's one big guy walking semborono xpandang kiri kanan then langgar ak..
really pissed off..shit!hello?u're big one,y dont u walk down 2 earth a little bit..
ni jalan nk langgar org jer.he's one sad pathetic dude..
urg...technically, i'm not actually got pissed of by that guy.(maybe i'm in unstable hormone mood rite now)

then we managed to get home by 1130 after my mum got her tudung,carkuew and 5kilos of tangerine. ;)
what to masak today?hurmmm..lets see what we have in the frdge..
aiyark!ikan siakap!pergh..
Got the menus already..
1. ikan siakap sweet sour
2. brocoli with black pepper sauce
3. goreng telur pun ok!=p

burp!kenyang..alhamdulillah...haha...
hurm,oprah again?dis time i have no idea how luckly i am ..justin's here on oprah!
we got your sexy back!:)

phone ringing
Come home song..it's HIM!
ello..how 're u?
fine..whre r u?my jiran's house..ade kenduri.blablabla...bye.

I actually having fun got stuck in the house..onlining,movies(actually my sis conquer all channel watching disney's movies)

*big sigh

smsing jue..
me="hey jue,got somthing to do 2morrow?
jue replying"nope.y?"
me=let's hang out 2morrow then.
jue=okie,i'll ask aisha then.where?
me=hurm..i'm not goin 2 decide rite n0w..we'll see 2morrow then.
jue=alrite!CU.

suddenly,feels like my heart stumped..
my brain went fuzzy with this crappy stuck on my head.
actually, i brought home buku FAR450..meaning? shoulve study then.
but my head keeps spinning around like it want some fresh air
(u know wht i meant,got fresh air by hang out n having tiramisu cake..GOSH!)
haha..(;

*smirking

okie...enough then..tired typing on this blog already..gotta out and find some fresh air.

..............