The next we have

lets proceed

to give u what u need

*music on*

I know you're somewhere out there
Somewhere far away
I want you back
I want you back
My neighbors think
I'm crazy
But they don't understand
You're all I have

At night when the stars
light up my room
I sit by myself

Talking to the Moon
Trying to get to You
In hopes you're on
the other side
Talking to me too
Or am I a fool
who sits alone
Talking to the moon

I'm feeling like I'm famous
The talk of the town
They say
I've gone mad
But they don't know
what I know

Do you ever hear me calling?
Cause every night
I'm talking to the moon
Still trying to get to you

I know you're somewhere out there
Somewhere far away~

How to let go of suffering

Many of us from all walks of life and at every level of society have become addicted to suffering. Our addiction reaches such an extent that even when everything seems to be going perfectly; we find a reason to feel bad. A classic example is during those times when everything is going far too well, it feels too good to be true, and we look for ways to question, doubt and even complain about our good fortune! The good news is we can free ourselves.

1. Rising above

For some of us there may be a certain comfort in suffering, in being a victim, because we don’t have to take responsibility; it’s much easier to blame someone else for our own discontent. Some of us get lost in the suffering we have been through in the past, unable to embrace things anew or see them through fresh eyes. We then miss out on experiencing the beauty of the present moment. We need to restore our innocence and focus on the love within us and in the world. This requires rising beyond he discontent of the intellect, and embrace freedom and joy in every moment.

 

2. Living in the moment

Living in the moment helps us rise above the judgments and complaints of the intellect to embrace the world around us with innocent, joyful acceptance.  When we experience love-consciousness, we realize that everything is perfect exactly as it is. This does not mean we shouldn’t want to improve our situations and grow. Evolution is the nature of life, and everything is always moving forward; but if we choose to embrace the beauty of what is happening right now, instead of focusing on what we perceive as wrong, love grows, instead of fear

3. Taking responsibility

In order to find true freedom from suffering, we need to begin to find happiness within. As adults, we may resist taking responsibility for our dissatisfaction. It’s easier to blame the politicians, our parents, religion, pollution, our bosses, and so on. We can change our external circumstances ad infinitum, but in reality that will never change anything. The outside is just a mirror of our own discontent. Fulfillment, peace, joy, and love do not come from outside. 

4. Speaking the truth

In modern society, we have learned to lie all the time. We lie to please others,  to defend ourselves, and to hide the parts of ourselves we have learned to judge as wrong or inappropriate. We think, It’s just a little lie, but there are hundreds of them! Whenever we lie, we are abandoning ourselves; we are not loving ourselves. Whenever we modify ourselves in order to receive love, we are separated from self. In speaking our truth, on the other hand, we never compromise ourselves in the search of approval from the outside.

 

5. Free yourself now

We can find freedom from our addiction to suffering when we choose, instead, to focus on love.

Imagine when you look in the mirror

that the face looking back at you is someone you truly love.

Just imagine. . . 

Them, I miss

Taking a deep breath
exhale *sigh

today, i look back on the pictures in my storage
and how i miss them sooo much!

 

look at them. hellyeah!crazy isn' it?

with friend like them, who needs enemy right?
we fight like sisters, take care like brothers
aku cubit kau, kau cepuk aku
aku tampar kau, kau sepak kejar aku
bile nak habis...hehehe

peace yaww!

 

 

whooopsiie!

 

 

 

 

 

 

it has been 4years of laugh and tear we've been thru together
no matter what we are sisters..
lots of love

Life as we know it

Here how it goes,
no matter how much i try to forget, u're still coming into my dreams and it turns out into a nightmare
and i hate it

what can i say

if youre it, youre it

i try time and again to see you in a different light..

with eyes untainted by social perception..

unheard of gossip and hate-speech..

but damn!!

you just had to go get in my face again..

cant you just leave quietly.. tail between legs..

i mean, seriously..

you ass has been handed to you the last time..

and you still have the nerve to show that snotty nose of yours..

claiming to still be on top when it is soo clear that you cant take the view..

please..

just please..

at the end of it

dont pretend like its your decision to leave

because we all know that its u who cant afford to stay..

Phase

When it started
I thought it will gonna be ok
At least,I have that thought
None now
Yes, I had zero
For having that fantasy
I'm not blaming u
Me neither
It is just a matter of time
But,mine could be
My mistakes
Or yours
Does it matters now?
No,totally
I've striving all these time
To make the best of it, everytime
Seems like u're just part time person
Come n go as you please
Denying your right? No, not at all
Sounds snobbish? So be it
But yet I'm none of your friend who's the only one having that right
I'm left out and toying around all these time
But hey thanks
Now that I know,
Who's the one worth crying n who's not
I can't promise you a perfect relationship
But I can promise you is that as long as we're trying,
Then i'm staying

Cooling hot

Profile A

after get to know for two days
man: would u like to join me for a dinner?
lady: huh?
man: a dinner,would u?
lady: too demanding
man: i'm having a dinner,if u want to join i would be happy
lady : no,not this time. no offense
man : ...

Profile B

man: i'm having a dinner
lady : with whom?
man : alone....
lady : owh, okay.

after 4 months
man : i have things to do at ..., and it would take me for lunch there
lady : works?
man : yeah ...
lady : okay
man : i'm having a lunch at RT
lady : alone again?
man : yes, accompany me?
lady : that's a question, women dont like question
man : *thinks
man : join me for lunch, lunch is on me.
lady : *grinning, the man cant see
lady : alrites,what time u'll be there?
man : 130pm, see u there ;)


p/s : women dont like a thrill 'date' and i'd prefer man in Profile B ,too damn cool! (;

Back off

Dear you,
yes,this goes out to you
stop that irritating face
before this, you're just a piece of clot
used,chewed, and spit out
lifted,only to be thrown away
enough with the arrogance
i'm sick of it
but hey
we all are knocked down
but only you got washed away

Song that speaks louder than words

 

it's a Marry You song from BrunoMars!

and i'm blushing now.*ngeheeeee!

let the lyrics explains everything, u dont need to hit any words on that.;)

alrites,thank you messyboy!

p/s: in the middle of nite i'm babbling over all these crap.but who cares? heheh

You're hired!

 

Having module all day long today

plus the mock interview (google it guys) ;)

i got the OSK investment bank co as my interviewer n dont have any idea how did i gotten into this co (i did know abt the co but what actually they did? i know NOTHING)

heee~

okay,here it goes:

interviewer A (a guy),we call him oren

interviewer B (a lady), lets call her lemon ..;)

and dont forget me (i'm the main character her..lol)-gonna slash u to death if u forgot abt me.

me: asslamualaikum....here's my resume...*came into the room and put the CV on the table

both of them smiled n nodded

oren: have a seat

lemon: alright fiqa,tell us a little bit abt urself.

me: my name is ..bla..bla...bla...n i'm the eldest sister in family.

oren checking my resume

oren   : i saw u've done ur practikal training at petronas,do u a petronas scholar?

me      :nope..but i'm a pnb scholar...*ah shit!ape kau ckp ni fiqa.aigoo!hope they didnt even notice it

lemon  : owh,so you're a pnb scholar? meaning that u're bonded with them right?

me      : actually it is not exactly bonded bcause in the agreement it stated that the scholarship offered doesnt guaranteed me a job later.*pandai kau tempeleng..hehe

lemon  : ohh i see..let say if pnb offer you a job and we're too offering u the same.what co will u choose?

me      : definitely i will choose pnb.(it just came out from my mouth,haish!)

*both oren and lemon seems shock

lemon  : so you are saying that u will chose pnb instead of us?seems that u're not interested in this company. we're just an options. aren't u?

*big dush!

me     : thats not what i meant. i am interested in this company. it is just a nice way giving my priority to my scholarship company.(i dont think i should said like this)

lemon :alright,done with that.tell us what do u think abt foreign workers in our country.

me     : in my opinion,foreign workers issue doesnt give any benefit to our country.we're paying them n they're tranfering the money for their family. it would be such a waste. *ok,i'm stuck now.haish!

oren   : what do you know about futures derivative.

*i got stuck,blank,clueless..in fact i know the answer. 

me    :my apology , i cannot answer the question yet but i'll try to explain on that if i got hired.

oren  : it's okay.now what do u think of the current economy.

me    :correct me if i'm wrong but now ringgit is tightening because of the drops in US dollar. and it affected by the rose of oil prices. and it is a good situation for malaysia i think.

lemon :explain about the IPO,wht do u know about it.

me     : IPO is offered by bla...bla..bla...*i wish this wasnt a crap.hee!

oren   : given a condition of bull market and bear market.what do u understand about those things?

*banyak la pulak kau tanye,nasib baik hensem

me     :bull market is where the transaction of shares and the flow of money in the market is heavily transacted.and bear market is a condition where...bla3....done...

lemon  : what is the relevant of having invested and giving out of dividend.is it good or not?

me      : *explains..at a point of time,i got stuck...apology again..(ape je kau tau fiqa,adeh)

okay,the session reached the end.but....

me   : sorry may i ask one question?

*both of them said yes and nodded.

me   : are both of u came from recruitment team of osk or what? (berani nye kau fiqa tnye diorg,hehe)

oren  : *laughing

eh aku xsuruh gelak pun?? 

oren   :actually, we're not from osk,we're the alumni of uitm working at .............we come just t help u guys on how to face the interview session. And you're good enough even there are times u cannot deliver what u want to say correctly.(did he just compliment me???) ;D

me     : owh okay...(hampeh betul, i was thinking they're from osk*big sigh )

the end of session.

come out of the room,relieved.

but hey, life is short..whatever you do,always be cheerful n everybody will get into you just easily.

love,

fiqa

Hocus Pocus!

Used to be like this*teeheee!

Its 24th of february now and the time for mingle-ling is so over!considering that the fact i'm a part 8 student*hellyeah? so what?
a bit serious fiqa? okayh, i'm serious now..no more mingle-ness and fiddling around. ;D

when i look at all of my friends studying like, burning the midnight oil n staying up late for study.oh my effing God,plz help me...find me mood to study plisss!!
*for mom's sake ye fiqa?(i'm nodding now)hehe

alrites, get back to your study.

; hope i wont fall asleep on my books again *big grin 

Hi there

Listening to : Yesterday, Toni Braxton

My mind completely went into circuit, absolutely in the middle of nowhere.

Mood : Bruises 

It’s been awhile n awhile since I left u bloggy! U’re dusty now..sorry,my bad.*urgh

Many things happened all these days and it kept reminding me on hows life doesn’t supposed as we want it to be.(-.-)

Lesson learnt:

First, all the things happened in Mesir really worry me. It keeps questioned my mind on how long ppl’s there want to live their life like that? The govt blocked all the connections, phone, and internet n sort of things. My family couldn’t contact my brother’s there and that bloody pm is insanely decided to downsize all the cabinets? Huh? c’mon, think wisely ppl. That doesn’t change anything unless u steps down n give way for a new 1. I was wondering why M’sia govt doesn’t want to bring Malaysians lived there back to Malaysia? I should take a deep n full of meaningful thought on that. *sigh

Second, the thought of coming home and I will have a rest for the whole week is so no no dream. We’re having a function at my house and I will be busy gearing on almost everything since I’m the only one child at the age >20.*pissed off

Next, my neighbor aka my mom’s best friend died and what surprised us was she doesn’t show any sign of unhealthy-ness in front of us. May Allah bless her always. (Innalillahiwainnailaihirojiun)

Then, I bought a blackberry and I thought that gismo thing will complete me with my “gadget freak” habit. Guess what? NOT AT ALL,fullstop. I’ve been thinking n dreaming about an ipad now.*eyes drooling

That’s the quick updates from me.

Will update soon(;

Into the nothing

THE RULES:
1) put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc on shuffle
2) for each quest, press the next button to get your answer
3) u must write down the song's name NO MATTER HOW silly it sounds
4) put any comments in brackets after the song names)

put this on your journal/blog

1- If someone says, "Is this okay ?" ... you say ?
bury me deep inside-HIM (yes bury me DEEP)

2- How would you describe yourself ?
cant be tamed - Miley Cyrus (i used to be tamed...=p)

3- What do you like in a guy/girl ?
genie in he bottle- Christina Aquilera (wishing the genie is hot)

4- How do you feel today ?
Better in time - Leona Lewis (apparently i need to be the way i used to be,or better)

5- What is your life's purpose?
PAPA DONT PREACH-KELLY OSBORNE (let me keep him..)

6- What is your motto?
DONT LOOK BACK IN ANGER-OASIS (bernas!)

7- What do your friends think of you ?
CHECK YES JULIET-WE THE KINGS(run baby run dont ever look back...)

8- What do you think of your parents ?
SAVE ROOM-JOHN LEGEND(for the love of god!!)

9- What do you think about very often ?
SIGNS-SNOOP DOGG FT J.T(cupid dont MESS with me)

10- What is 2 + 2 ?
ONE IN A MILLION-Bosson (so its not 4 nemore?)

11- What do you think of your best friend ?
touch my body-mariah carey (ho yeahh!!.hahaha)

12- What do you think of the person you like ?
today was a fairytale - Taylor Swift(it's over within a day, lol)

13- What is your life story ?
falling star-JET (yes falling star indeed)

14- What do you want to be when you grow up ?
stolen-dashboard confessional (???!!!)

15- What do you think of when you see the person you like ?
Relax,take it easy-Mika(chill bebeyh chill...)

16- What will you dance to at your wedding ?
Midnight bottle-Colbie caillat

17- What will they play at your funeral ?
Time is running out - Muse(bapak terbaik funeral aku!)

18- What is your hobby/interest ?
New-No doubt(ape punyer hobby lah)

19- What is your biggest fear ?
Hot n cold-Katie Perry (stupid punye fear)

20- What is your biggest secret ?
CRAZY - Aerosmith (no doubt u're like this)*ngee

21- What do you think of your friends ?
Your my angle-Unwritten law (devil lagie tepat wey)

22- What will you post this as ?
Into the nothing - Breaking Benjamin (realistically this is useless)

Adios Treasury

 the A&O team(superb!)

it's been a looong time ago since the last time i'm update this bloody blog was on september.=0

i've been busy gearing up evething  with all the practical stuff n what not.(konon)

totally cannot recall wht happened before this.
alrite,before all things are draining and drenching out from my brain,i have to put this on somewhere.(-.-)

as times goes by, the tears and joy of intership is done..i was handling it pretty well,i think..totally.
as i dont regret any seconds of it. all of them are wonderful (i can use that term for them)
*insert dramatic pause.

on my last day, they got me off for a lunch together at chakri. nothing biggie, just a small selective gathering fr this great band of friensd that were awesomely close. at the end of it,i put a glimpse on the receipt.
that lunch is worth rm450++.erk! thanks Kak Fid!!it was an amazing fact that all of us were able to attend last tuesday afternoon :’)

after that, we're heading to iSetan.
we = kak shida n me..
and surprisingly i've been asked to choose my own present worth rm300.realistically i am shocked (and blushing too)......;) what are they planning to?
ok,done with that..i've picked out my own present.it was a ........eheheh

excited-ness

after that, we've got another farewell celebration for the whole GTD, a cake for us.honestly i tell you it was the most wonderful moment in my life. being celebrated as if i'm the staff there.it was not just an intern i thought. we've spent moments and we did make every seconds worth having for, the Accounting and Operation team and the whole GTD itself.

idk why im writing this , just fr the record i guess . i knw ill miss them , because they’re a part of my life :/

mmmmkaaay phewh thats it!

Beatiful Goodbye

I thought it was all in my head but something felt wrong in my heart

Guess I was a fool to believe nothing could tear us apart

Little by little we've changed n maybe we'll never know why

Something is gone from my touch

And it's written deep in your eyes


Forever is easy to say

But now our forever is gone

Can't you see nobody's right

When all that is left is all wrong

I'm gonna miss what we had

And even though it's killin' me

Gotta see things the way that they are

Not the way that I wish they could be

We'll never be the way we were

So why do we try to pretend

If we know it's gonna hurt

It's beter left unsaid


And it feels just like a dream the moment that you wrap your arms around me

The only place I thought I'd ever be until I realize it's for the last time


You don't have to say a word

'cause deep inside I already know

You can't keep holding on

Just because I can't let go

I'll be all right, try not to cry

When you walk out my life

Just leave me with a beautiful goodbye

He love you..He love u not....

Something to share with u guys….

How to know when a man loves you.

Perhaps he loves you, but he is not in love with you, yes there is a huge difference. Some of the easiness signs to determine he loves you or not are...

* When a man loves a woman he treats her equally.

* He treats her like his queen and is always there for her.

* When she needs someone by her side, he is standing there.

* He never hits or belittles her.

* He is supportive and understanding.

* He shows her with his actions.

* He is loving and affectionate.

* He makes you feel special.

* He treats u like a queen.

* He listens to what you have to say.

* He thinks about your feelings.

* His friends and family all respect you.

* He sticks up for you at all times.

* He is interested in your wants and needs.

* He asks for your opinions.

* He takes good care of you.

* How he looks at you.

* He tries to impress you.

* He calls you frequently.

A man might not be so great at telling you his feelings, so make sure you watch his actions. We all know the saying "actions speak louder then words" and in a man’s world it is true. The way he talks about you and treats you is the best way to determine if he truly loves you or not.

Flaws

listening to: impossible-Shontelle.(pretty enough to describe the stupid feeling right now)

mood : dont know ('.')??

wearing : borrowed t-shirt from yat(thanks yat!)

i dont have any issues rite now, thank god!

except a tiny niggling of unsatisfaction =/

sheeeshh! i hate it when people flaunt out their high and might-i-ness on me

get a grip

my life is cooler then your,so xpyh kecoh la..

actually, i have this big issue of flaunting around authority

HAHA . i can practically see my bffs rolling around on the floor :/

but technically , i do have my moments of self doubt
*what a crap

but mummy taught me to just bulldoze my way into greatness , and whatever i strive for , work for , i'll get it 

so its a matter of mindset

i’d go really really deep into what im feeling right now

but honestly nothing is stirring in the deep depths of the archives of my very own personal teen angst .

im happy as i am right now (;

i'm done,goodnite!

Chronicles

Un-satisfaction is ..

1. the unknown

2. the useless known

3. the hopeless known ..

4. and knowing that im just typing out the words as it comes from my head without meaning

haha im actually a nice , stable person . its went situations are testy that i get prickly..


*sigh

right now . maybe its jst me ._.’ it eats you up and you don’t know what to do because you can’t really do anything . and it gets you . grr . the unknown , unplanned , uncharted . analogy - like missing the last formula to an addmath equation ; not being able to msg your friend because your phone is cranky (ish !) sigh ; forgetting something just a the tip of your tongue ; and wishing that something might happen but not knowing if it is ever going to or not , and when will it happen ..

im not a quitter ! but i dont know where this is going so i dont know what im working towards and ..

and maybe im too demanding . hmp . but is it so much to ask when all i want is ,

when all i want is a bit privacy for myself..thanks.

Kitten

Saturday,June 19th 2010

ehem, dear diary,
i's such a cool v bright and sunny day today !

am i such a dork to say i love SATURDAYS!??

im at mira’s house . today supposedly and unexpectedly, we've planned to go for a coffin exhibition at the museum.
konon brani..hahaha,....

but as it turns out , life doesnt go as its supposed to smtimes -_-”"

ever felt emotionally and physically drained ? ._.’

today,we went for a kind of cuci mata around kl.
we=mama,mira,abah and me.(;

actually, mama and i planned to go to post office,since i got something to setTle on but plan was altered cause abah want to have breakfast at kg baru.okay then.

went out about 9am and got back home around 12.30 and its was only a while cause we're going out again after zohor to ikea..

*smirking

went to ikea bcause mama got sumthing to buy for the bathroom and thanks god to mama cause i havent in ikea for almost 3years!
hahahah...but plans as i said dont turns out as it supposed to..... );
we bought nothing at the end..hurm,doesnt matter.
hey,i heard some of  my friend got addicted by ikea meatball..hahaha..okay,i'll try it later la..(xsmpat nk jenguk pun,too many ppl!)

on our way home, we got stuck on secret recipe having tea time there..
OMG! so nice and good to have pecan butterscotch this time..
plus lasagna,it was mama's order tough..(curi sikit) hhahaha

after we got home,me n mira going out again to a nearby shop.

u know what?i saw kittens there!
argh!soooo cute!
there r 3 kittens on a box below the stairs, n no ones there.
so i took 1 n 1 for mira.
fair n square isnt it?
technically,it's stealing bcause no one was there at that time..

*big dush!

but realistically,it's stealing too because we took them without permission.but,is there someone else there to ask for a permission???what  a crap...blablabla...
ngeee!

can you imagine a sun drenched , sunny day , hanging out and letting loose and at the same time getting something (hihi) done , and seeing everybody (half of em you knw of and greet) just out and about enjoying the day ?

my life is great , i think  and im beyond grateful .

and i just had to write this to share my happiness haha . ive been so down and semi lethargic lately but i guess it just boils down to what matters at the end of the day .

you really really have to let out whats making you feel wrong , bcause once thats done everything is okay . you did your part in telling someone and its up to the universe to make it right lol
either that , or i am waaaayyy high on mochachino
but hey - life is short .

love ,
fiqa..  xD

Satin

Listening to: Angel's cry-Neyo ft Mariah Carey
hair . twisted into a ponytail.
shimmer . rough .
In black chiffon shorts and a white tee .
wiping the worry away..

ooh.. it's been 3 weeks already..

ive been … busy gearing up over everything , konon . im nt even sure if that makes sense
it’s already THURSDAY
1 day left till weekend..
feel as if the weekend didnt happen at all , smhow . one big gush of grey blur

my brain went fuzzy checkin' on wht i'm going to do dis weekend.

*sigh

i think all dis time i'm doing my internship at petronas,i did quite well.(i guess)
hahaha...poyo!

u know what?the best thing for today was i eat at nando's!

it's kak fid's treat..my supervisor a.k.a my boss..

hhahah..

frankly speaking, at 1st, i did'nt wanna go join them for lunch since i thought i hve to pay for my own meal.

funny isnt it?

hmmm...now i knew that every month kak fid will bring her staff for a lunch together.that was great!

thats why i love nice ppl..

my top pet peeve in the whole world is rude people . i absolutely despise rude people . imbecilic morons . courtesy makes the person . gentlemen rules !

in a sense , it seems irresponsible and idiotic to “go with the flo” . but im not stupid . i act stupid ;D but i don’t think im stoopid . this may be just a case of Patrick & Spongebob’s influence . haha .

i was raised with manners . im sensible . i don’t do stupid things . like smoking . or taking drugs . i dnt do PDA . i pray ;D and fast . i’ve qhattamed . i still have fun but i know my limit . with good breeding comes manners .

song right now:Jason Castro- Lets just fall in love again.

okay, i'm done now.

goodnite!

As ur wish

i wish i didn't care
i wish it didn't matter
i wish i was happy
i wish i had money
i wish i was pretty
i wish i could sleep at night
i wish i could enjoyed my life
i wish i could just enjoyed my food
i wish u meant it
i wish i meant it
i wish i was different
i wish i know what i'm writing rite now..